


the magi-coolest cat

by hearth_goddess



Category: Cats (2019), Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, I'm so sorry, M/M, forbidden tuggoffelees, i really have nothing to say about this, london griz is deut's daughter, rap tugger x 2019 misto, this is tumblr's fault, this tugger is the rap tugger from the london revival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-29 00:49:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30148209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearth_goddess/pseuds/hearth_goddess
Summary: One afternoon in the Junkyard, the pipe begins to glow. Tapper, being the curious cat he is, enters the pipe, and finds himself in London, but nothisLondon. However, he does meet a very cool and very cute magical who seems very flustered by the sudden attention he's receiving from this short excitable tom.orthe forbidden tuggoffelees fic that literally no one asked for
Relationships: Mr. Mistoffelees/Rum Tum Tugger (Cats)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	the magi-coolest cat

**Author's Note:**

> i... i have nothing to say about this...  
> this is completely tumblr's fault, I've got more of these boys on my tumblr, that's all
> 
> also i think rap/street cat Tugger is known as Tapper in the fandom?? so that's how I'm going to be referring to him in the fic... so... *shoves away* here

“Hey, Munkus?” Tapper called, spotting his brother chatting with Old Deuteronomy, the two toms immediately looking up at the sound of their youngest family member’s voice.

“What’s up, Taps?” Munkustrap asked. 

Tapper pointed towards his drainpipe. “Something freaky is going on with my pipe.” 

The inner part of the pipe was glowing very strangely, which was enough cause for Munkustrap to rush over and pull his younger brother away from the metal, staring at it with confusion before glancing back to Coricopat and Tantomile, the psychic twins already studying the pipe closely. 

“Cori, Tanto, what’s going on exactly?” he asked. 

The twins were the only Jellicles who had any kind of magic, and therefore were the go-to experts for any strange happenings in the Junkyard. Their magic, however, pertained to the more mystical side of things, such as being able to partly see into the future, sense danger (which came in handy quite a bit), and being able to tell a cat’s intentions. It was helpful, but very different from Macavity’s more physical manifestation of magic. 

“It’s not a malevolent magic.” Coricopat said, moving forward. 

Tantomile nodded. “It’s waiting.” 

Munkustrap’s brow furrowed. “For what?” 

“We’re not sure yet.” The twins said in unison. 

Tantomile reached out to the pipe slowly, closing her eyes to feel the atmosphere. “Perhaps with more time,” 

“We can figure it out.” Coricopat finished, touching his sister’s hand to give her some of his energy. 

“Okay then.” Munkustrap said with a sigh, stepping away from the pipe. He turned around to face the gathered group of Jellicles, raising his voice slightly. “Until we figure out what to do, everyone stay away from the pipe and the surrounding area!” 

Tapper frowned. “But that’s my den!” 

Demeter touched her brother-in-law’s arm with a fond smile. “You can stay with Munkustrap and I, Taps.” 

“Thanks, Dem.” Tapper said as the Jellicles dispersed, the older cats herding the very curious kittens away from the glowing pipe as Munkustrap engaged in conversation with Old Deuteronomy, Coricopat, and Tantomile. Demeter adjusted Tapper’s necklaces (something that she and Munkustrap did frequently, as they constantly became either tangled or awkwardly shifted during his dancing), and bid him farewell before going to join her sister for tea. 

Tapper was left on his own, which was really never a good idea on anyone’s part. 

And, honestly, the pipe looked very interesting, and Tapper was a curious cat, so it was only natural for him to want to explore. 

Double-checking that Munkustrap and Old Deuteronomy were both distracted, Tapper slowly moved towards his pipe, a little grin appearing on his face when he went unnoticed. He slipped into the opening, feeling a warmth from the strange glow, and before he could question his actions, he went through the glow. 

* * *

Oh. 

That was it? 

It was just London. 

Honestly, Munkustrap was completely overreacting, in Tapper’s opinion. It was probably just some magic gone wrong from some cat that the Jellicles hadn’t met yet. 

It was a different part of London, that was for sure. Tapper wasn’t sure he recognized the buildings, or the specific alley he was in, but it definitely was London. It smelled the same. 

“Well, now I can go back and tell Munkus everything’s alright.” Tapper told himself with a shrug, turning around, intending to go back through the glowy bit and return home. 

That would be an issue. 

The glowy bit was gone, and so was the pipe, and Tapper’s way home. 

Huh. 

Well, Tapper could always use his nose and smell his way back home. That would be easy. He’d just have to find Old Deuteronomy’s scent, which wasn’t difficult, because his father’s was all over London, given his frequent visits all over the city. Old Deuteronomy smelled like old books, the herbal tea the vicarage made, and the special scent that all Jellicles had, that was quite impossible to describe. 

Tapper took a deep breath, and his heart dropped. 

He couldn’t catch his father’s scent. 

No matter where he was in London, Tapper could always catch his father’s scent. 

And now, he could hear footsteps moving towards him. 

Tapper looked around, confusion on his face, and feeling a bit more nervous than he had been feeling before. Footsteps in a strange place never meant something good, so he was ready to strike. 

He suddenly wished that Munkustrap was with him as he heard the footsteps grow closer. His older brother always knew what to do in times of danger and uncertainty. 

“Who are you?” a male voice asked, and a very sleek grey cat came out of the shadows to stand in front of Tapper, straightening up to be at least a full head taller than the other tom, who held back his frown. (He knew he was short, cats didn’t have to use it to their advantage.) 

“Who are you?” Tapper asked back. If there was one thing his big brother and his father had taught him, it was to never give your Name out to strangers, or at least your Full Name. A Jellicle Name had power. 

The grey tom studied Tapper suspiciously. “Munkustrap. Now, who are you?” 

Tapper blanked for a moment, cocking his head. “You’re not Munkustrap.” 

“I’m sorry?” the tom asked as other cats crept around the corner, watching Tapper with curiosity and caution. 

“Munkustrap is fluffy. And cuddly. And can’t stand correctly.” Tapper explained, as if he was talking to a kitten, crossing his arms as one of his paws reaching up to fiddle with his “R” chain, twirling the charm nervously, a habit that his brother hated, which obviously meant that Tapper did it nearly all the time. “And my brother. You’re not my brother.” 

The not-Munkustrap cat looked utterly gobsmacked, but before he could respond, Tapper’s eyes traveled past him, looking over each of the cats surrounding him. 

There was a pretty brown queen with a gold tooth that she bared at Tapper (that was really cool, Tapper wondered how she got it, she looked extremely intimidating and he loved it), two identical-looking toms with really cool fish necklaces, and- 

Was that cat wearing a sparkly jacket? 

He had a top hat too? 

Did he just pull flowers out of his sleeves? 

Tapper rushed forward, barely stopping himself from toppling over the other tom, and not noticing or hearing the exasperated sighs or looks from the other cats, or the way the tom he approached deflated slightly. “That was so cool!” He grabbed the tom’s paw, lifting his arm up to try to peer into the sleeve. “Were those flowers hidden? Were they squished in your sleeves?” 

The tom was now frozen, unsure of what to do as he stared at Tapper with confusion and shock. “N-No? I conjured them up. That’s how they always appear.” 

“You have magic!?” Tapper cried with an utterly delighted beaming smile as he looked at the tom. “I’ve never met a cat who can show off their magic! Cori and Tanto can just read minds and stuff like that, but your magic is even cooler! I really like your jacket, it’s so chill with all the buttons! What other magic can you do? My name’s Tapper, what’s yours?” 

“I’m… I’m Mistoffelees. Mr. Mistoffelees.” The tom said. 

Tapper’s smile only widened even more. “That’s such a cool name! Where’d you get your jacket? I don’t see lots of cats with stuff like that. I got my necklaces from my humans and my brother, they thought they’d be cool, and I agree with them!” 

Mistoffelees (and what a wonderful name that was!) looked very bewildered for a moment, before his shoulders slowly relaxed. “I… my human made my jacket. She’s an artist, and likes to reuse things.” He looked at the necklaces the shorter tom was wearing (an “R”, a chain, and a cat head) and couldn’t help but let out a small, amused huff. “Your necklaces are impressive.” 

“Thanks!!” Tapper said brightly. “Can I see more magic? If that’s okay? I never get to see magic like yours, and I think it’s so amazing! 

* * *

Tapper hung off the wall by his legs, looking at Mistoffelees upside-down. “Do you have any siblings?” 

Mistoffelees looked at the shorter tom with a small smile. They were outside of the Egyptian, in Mistoffelees’ favorite alley. The magical cat was practicing, and Tapper had been on the brick wall, watching him with eager eyes. 

“I haven’t got anyone.” Mistoffelees said, and Tapper frowned. 

“Really?” he asked. 

Mistoffelees nodded. “Reborns are brought to the Egyptian by the balloon. Old Deut normally gets some kind of premonition about their arrival, so if a pair of mates or just a single cat wants to adopt the kitten, they can be the first to greet them with Old Deut. According to Old Deut, the year I arrived, no one needed a new kitten, so no one arrived to the Egyptian. And once cats heard about my magic… well, the only other cat with magic that we know of is Macavity, so that’ll tell you everything.” 

Tapper scowled, flipping right-side-up as he looked at Mistoffelees seriously. “That’s not fair, though! You were a kitten! That’s like if my tribe had thrown out Cori and Tanto, even though their magic’s nothing like Macavity’s!” 

“I wasn’t thrown out, thank Heaviside, but I stuck to myself, and since no one else in the tribe knows magic, I’ve been left to myself to learn.” Mistoffelees explained, sounding much too chipper. “Everyone else just kind of lets me do my own thing, and just shakes their head and sighs whenever I mess up, which happens quite a bit.” 

“I’m sorry.” Tapper told the magical tom, who gave him a small smile. The two were quiet for a bit, before Mistoffelees decided to ask the other tom a few questions in return. 

“So, Tapper. What’s your family like?” Mistoffelees asked as he continued to practice, trying to recreate the magic that had brought Tapper (though, as he practiced, he really was not looking forward to the moment that Tapper had to return home. He was enjoying being able to talk with someone and not feel like a fool). Tapper had decided to now jump onto the brick wall, and stride back and forth, doing the occasional flip that had Mistoffelees tensing, preparing to catch the shorter tom. 

“Well, it’s just me, Dad, and Munkus.” Tapper said. “It used to be Grizabella and Macavity, too, but that was before they left. Dad and Mom had Macavity and Grizabella pretty early on, so when Munkus was born, they were both pretty old, like that other Munkustrap’s age, almost a full adult. And then I was born, and Munkus and I instantly clicked, according to Dad.” Tapper smiled slightly, and Mistoffelees could tell the other tom had a deep fondness for his immediate older brother, and there was no doubt that his brother felt the same love for him. “Munkus wouldn’t leave me alone with anybody, not even Dad and Mom, before she went to the Heaviside, but especially not Macavity. He never really tried to get close with either of us, he never even really felt like our brother. I don’t think I would have even known he was my brother if Grizabella hadn’t said something.” 

Tapper jumped off the wall to sit on a box, and Mistoffelees leaned against the wood, studying him. “Why’d he leave?” 

Tapper shrugged. “He lost control of his magic one day at home, apparently. Nobody knows except for Dad what really happened, but Grizabella said she’d help him learn about his magic. Since she was his twin, she thought she was the best cat to help him. I didn’t want her to leave, but she did. The next we hear of Macavity, he’s recruiting cats and attacking stores and homes all over London. I don’t know what happened to my sister.” 

“She never came home?” Mistoffelees asked, and Tapper shook his head. 

“We don’t talk about her much anymore. Some of the older cats think that she up and left, but I know that Dad and Munkus don’t think so.” He said. “They’re hurt, though, that she’s been gone for so long.” 

Mistoffelees nudged Tapper’s leg lightly. “Maybe she’ll come home one day. She’ll see you perform one of your songs.” 

Tapper’s entire mood changed, and he brightened, a smile appearing on his face. “I already have an idea for one!” 

“Oh, really?” Mistoffelees asked, laughing slightly. “What kind of song?” 

“The best song!” Tapper replied excitedly, jumping off of the box and grabbing Mistoffelees’ paws. “About the best cat!” Mistoffelees laughed as Tapper pulled him into the center of the alley, straightening up as if he was announcing something. “Mr. Mistoffelees, the Original Conjuring Cat!” He leaned into Mistoffelees, who was really trying to hold back his laughter. “There’s no doubt about that.” Tapper swung Mistoffelees around, the two laughing as they spun in a circle. “The greatest magicians have something to learn from Mr. Mistoffelees’ Conjuring Turn!” 

Mistoffelees waved Tapper away. “You hush. I’m not that impressive.” 

Tapper shook his head. “You brought your Old D back, didn’t you?” 

“Well, yes, but-“ 

“But nothing!” Tapper exclaimed, cutting Mistoffelees off. His eyes twinkled, and he stepped away from Mistoffelees breaking out of the song into a verse of his own, which made Mistoffelees blush furiously and shove the tom away to hide how flustered he became. 

_"Forget all the rest but my bestie in black He's got a whole host of tricks falling out of his hat He saved the day, he brought Old Deut back Everybody raise it up, magi-coolest cat!"_

“You’re utterly ridiculous.” Mistoffelees groaned, hiding his face in his hands (as well as a very happy and wide smile) as Tapper burst into delighted laughter. “How does your brother put up with you?” 

Tapper wrapped an arm around Mistoffelees, grinning. “I honestly couldn’t tell you, love.” 

* * *

“Well… I think I’ve got it.” Mistoffelees said, standing in the same spot that Tapper had appeared out of. The short tom was fiddling with his necklace again, either from the anticipation of going home, or nervousness of leaving, neither Mistoffelees nor Tapper could really say. 

Tapper gave Mistoffelees a small smile. “I know you can do this.” 

Mistoffelees nodded, and he lifted his wand. He could hear Tapper humming the silly song he made up, and that made him smile, his magic flowing much more easily through the wand, Slowly but surely, the same glowy bit appeared in front of the two toms, and Mistoffelees let out a breath of relief. 

“It worked.” He said, trying to force a bit of cheerfulness into his voice. 

“It did.” Tapper said, shuffling his feet. There were a few beats of silence before Tapper threw caution to the wind and grabbed Mistoffelees’ paws. “Come with me!! Munkustrap would absolutely love you, and so would my dad, and Demmy will be so happy I’ve got someone who makes me happy, and I know Cori and Tanto would love having another magical cat in the Junkyard, and everybody would just adore you.” 

Mistoffelees stilled, his own paw slack in Tapper’s grip, and he looked over in the direction of the Egyptian. Since rescuing Old Deuteronomy and the other Jellicle Choice Candidates, Macavity hadn’t been an issue for the Jellicles. Victoria had settled in without a hitch (Rumpleteazer had helped quite a bit with that), and there was really no need for a magical cat in the tribe. 

There had never been a need for one. 

Mistoffelees looked back at Tapper, whose eyes were a mix of hopefulness and nervousness, and he tightened his paw, making the short tom straighten. 

“You think I can keep my jacket?” Mistoffelees asked, and Tapper _shone_. 

“I’ll always make you another one if you can’t.” 

With that, the two Jellicles dashed through the glowy bit, laughing as they emerged on the other end in a dark, familiar (at least to Tapper) pipe. 

Tapper shook out his fur as he looked around, and a bright grin appeared on his face. 

“Are we… are we in your junkyard?” Mistoffelees asked, suddenly very nervous, and Tapper nodded happily. 

“This is my pipe! It’s where I sleep, and also where I store all the things I like, so you can stay here if you want!” he said happily. Mistoffelees blushed furiously, but Tapper simply gripped his paw tighter and pulled him out of the pipe. “Munkus! Munkus, come meet my awesome magician!” 

Munkustrap was standing over with Alonzo, probably talking to him about something important by the way his tail was swishing back and forth, but he turned around so quickly when Tapper called out his name. “Tapper?” 

The silver tom was a blur as he raced across the Junkyard to pull his little brother into his arms. 

“Hey, Munkus!” Tapper said with a laugh, returning his brother’s hug. Munkustrap pulled back, looking Tapper over furiously as he made sure his brother was safe and in one piece, straightening one of his necklaces and his hat. 

Munkustrap then leveled him with a stern look. “Everlasting, Taps, we were so worried about you! You went into the pipe, and Coricopat saw you go in, but it had stopped glowing by then, so we were just waiting!” He looked over Tapper’s shoulder, and spotted Mistoffelees, trailing off. “Who’s this?” 

Tapper bounced, pulling Mistoffelees close proudly. “This is my magical Mr. Mistoffelees! He’s wonderful, and isn’t his jacket just the greatest thing you’ve ever seen? He’s the coolest cat in the world, and he’s got a magic wand and a magic hat, Munkus! Honestly, he’s just absolutely brilliant!” 

As Tapper continued on, Munkustrap just let out a small laugh, and a fond sigh that instantly put Mistoffelees at ease, and the silver tom held out his paw, clasping it around Mistoffelees’. “Anyone who can make Taps that excited and happy is automatically in my good books.” Munkustrap said, and Mistoffelees laughed slightly. 

“I asked Tapper how you put up with him, and he said he didn’t know.” the magical tom said. 

Munkustrap grinned, wrapping an arm around Mistoffelees. “I couldn’t tell you either. But welcome to the Junkyard, Mr. Mistoffelees. I think you’ll fit in just fine here.”

**Author's Note:**

> why did i take this seriously...  
> i hope you enjoyed whatever this was
> 
> tapper: *has multiple necklaces*  
> me: *has a necklace and twirls it to help with my anxiety aka all the time* hEY I HAVE AN IDEA
> 
> if you want more of these forbidden boys just check out my tumblr **uppastthejelliclemoon  
> **
> 
>   
> i should be posting more of my human AU soon!!


End file.
